Things I Learnt In Thailand

So I've now moved on from Thailand and after a full thirty days in the country I would like to share what little I have learnt from the experience

1. They love to give you stickers. Stickers to get on boats, to get on buses, to go on trips, and they are very elaborate. I must have counted at least eight different colours on one trip going through two islands. Yes, stickers are very Thai.

2. In the words of my Canadian companion of a few days - Thailand - safety, not our concern. You get on a boat nd sit on a deck with your feet hanging off the side, they throw bags a good couple of feet from boat to water, the fact they have motorbike taxis, the police will charge you 300 baht (about 6 quid) for not wearing your helmet but don't make you actually put one on, pavements barely exist so walking on the road is a fun experience. So be safe if you dare because no one else is.

3. Don't sit down at the Full Moon Party. Sand mites. Eaten alive. Nuff said.

4. Thai hospitals are like hotels! You get a balcony, TV and DVD player, extra beds if necessary... Cheap holiday would be to get admitted to hospital and let the insurance company pay for your stay! And most of them on Samui are in Chaweng the party town so not a bad place to stay.

5. Air con makes my feet swell. I want to sleep with two pillows, not one propping up my feet. Stupid air con.

6. The people are great. Everyone smiles and I lost count of the amout of times I got offered a lift walking into town, and got smiles off people thinking I was crazy for wanting to walk! And lady boys are great too, one let me grope her (?) boobs, very firm they were too.

7. The police are corrupt as hell. One bloke got stabbed twenty eight times and then dumped in a lake. Thai police verdict was drowning. Says it all really.

8. I didn't spend enough time learning stuff. I promise to do better in Malaysia!