Toilets and Tattoos

What's the deal with squat toilets? Seriously, not convenient at all! They're fine for men but for women they're the most ridiculous idea ever! I get why Asians can use them, the squat position is a lot more natural for them but it's just not part of my physical capabilities, I'm Western goddamit, I want a normal toilet! I've had to bite the bullet whilst in Penang on a little weekend away, my guesthouse has given me no option but the was a massive mental barrier to using it until my stomach was about the burst!

Toilet rant over... I've got a new tattoo and will attempt to load a picture on here which will be a novel experience for me. When I went diving in the Perhentians I fell in love with Panda Clownfish, they're well cute and have a really miserably cute mouth and they're so playful, even more than False Clownfish otherwise known as Nemos. I have a mission to get a tattoo in every country I go to (I failed at this in Holland because they tried to charge me 100 quid for Spongebob when it should have been no more than thirty and I got it for twenty in Thailand, and Germany because of the lack of open tattooists!) and I try to get something that relates to the place I am. So I have Polish writing, Spanish writing, Thai writing and a lotus flower from Cambodia. Because diving has been such a massive experience for me whilst in Malaysia I decided to get the Panda Clownfish as a memory of the amazing time I had.

New Tattoo

The writing says 'INDAH' which is Malay for 'wonderful', and also Indonesian for 'pretty' so it works in two countries but I'll still be getting some ink in Indonesia as well. It was a pain in the arse to find a tatooist here, being a Muslim country it's not relly part of the cultural tradition in the same way as Thailand, Cambodia etc. I'm well impressed, didn't think it would be as good as it is!

Think I'm going to head back to the Highlands a day early, was meant to go home Tuesday morning and pretty much go straight to work but I'm thinking I'll be shattered and having an afternoon to chill out and watch Bel, Bella and Deera working would be fun! See what happens...

People of Malaysia...

This isn't going to be some massive diatribe of the social interations and observations of the people who live in Malaysia, just some thought on the amazing people I've met so far because I have nothing approprite to blog about...

So first my work mates, I'll start with Bel. She's a hippy from Aus and we've been through everything together here. We arrived on the same day and have spent every day together since, she's amazing! She has been my moral compass when I've had some baaaadddd ideas, been a wing girl extraordinaire when needed, even though this has caused some interesting repercussions, and been someone I can talk to when things have fucked up. It's been amazing to share this time with her and I'm genuinely gutted she's leaving soon, plus I'll have no one to look after my dreads when she's gone.

Bella and Deera, two beautiful, funny, sweet, kind and adorable Orang Asli girls I work with. They're so loving, they fussed me so much the other day when I was suffering with my cold and they have a great sense of fun which is really necessary in a town this quiet. I wish I could put them in my pocket and take them everywhere! Deera is so comforting when you tell her something you've done that is maybe a bit out the ordinary and her response is 'it's normal!' and Bella is so cute when I swear in Malay and she gets all shy and giggly. I'm not leaving yet but I'm not looking forward to the day I have leave these two bundles of fun... Bella has invited me to her village for Christmas, now even though I don't do Christmas I feel so privileged to be invited I'll definitely be there.

The first couple of weeks here we met some characters and had some adventure of discovery in the Highlands! Marcus was great, he had met Bel a few months earlier in Bangkook and was in the bed opposite her when we both arrived! He definitely raised the tone of conversation to a level not achieved since, quantum physics, politics and he was also the only other person to share his worst story to everyone one night in the Highlander. Jack and Tom came next, great guys as well who stuck around for about a week. They were just sund lads, long term travellers who wanted a break and the Cameron Highlands is great for that, Jack also defiled the Jungle Bar in a rather excellent style which hasn't yet been lived up to.. 'fuck the pain away!'

Winter was next and she deserves a whole paragraph to herself... She turned up and was being all lonely and stuff until Bel started to speak t her and she was such a laugh! She did my dreads for me (along with Bel) and for this I am eternally grateful and it's pretty much her fault my plan now includes a year in Australia. She was so cool and taught me quite a bit about gypsy culture which is very close to my heart. The tarot reading she did for me really got under my skin and I'm now really looking forward to the next few years on the journey she described to me. I really miss her and can't wait to catch up with her and her mad friends she told me about.

Next up are Cali and Fabio. Two very different people who arrived around the same time. Cali is such a good guy, he's got facial tattoos, implants in places you wouldn't want to think about and on his head, some amazing dreads and has lead such an interesting life, I could have talked to him for weeks. He;s one of the first people I've met who really gets the moral dilemma of going to Burma and we had a really good talk about it in which we came to no conclusion! His way of life is etreme to a lot of people but I really got his reasoning behind it. Would love to bump into him again on my travels. Fabio is also a great guy, Italian with nearly perfect English! He's been here nearly two weeks and he's a cigarette thief!!!! He's been great to hang out with and man that dude can eat! He's leaving soon to go to Perhentians with Bel and going to miss him teaching me useless Italian...

I'm sure I've missed some people but these are the guys who have really made an impression on me whilst I've been in the Cameron Highlands. I'm looking forward to 'The Next Generation' when Bel leaves and I have to find my way in this town by myself with Bella and Deera to tell me it's normal!

The Lurgy

The worst feat that can befall a traveller has ocurred... Not a motorbike crash, an STD, deportation, getting burnt to buggery jumping on a kerosene soaked flaming skipping rope.... Far worse than any of these, I have got a cold!

I blame Bella, the gorgeous girl I work with. I have good reason, I'm not just peeved she looks amazing everyday when I struggle to open my eyes wide enough to look alive. She had a pain in the roof of her mouth yesterday, then I got a pain and hers went away. This pain was the start of my cold therefore she gave me her pain and hence this cold, there is not other reason for this.

What I wouldn't do for some fresh orange WITHOUT BITS damn you, some Orange Lucozade and a day off work. I could in theory take a day off from standing at the doorway to the travel agents I graft away in everyday, but then I would only be able to go to Penang for three days which isn't enough time to get a tattoo designed, dive, get the tattoo and get rid of the residual nitrogen out of my system before heading back to the Highlands.

As is evident, life is extremely diffcult here... The worries of when the get a tattoo and go scuba diving are weighing heavy on my mind, my brain hurts. Life is so hard I'm forgetting my words. I read a blog of a girl I met here and she was fuming that people she met travelling used the phrase 'same same' in a polite conversation. I'm nearing that point, the big fancy words I use to procrastinate (I'm impressing myself there!) are disappearing. Maybe this is because I only have a finite capacity for words and all the Malay swears and insults are taking the place of the show off English I used to use.

So I'm ill, I'm losing words and I want to go diving and get a tattoo. The stress is killing me.

Welcome to the Jungle, We've got fun and games...

I've been living in the rainforest now for 4 weeks today and I'm feeling rather settled. Feel like I've began to crack the locals, I think people are getting used to me being around and can see I'm not some backpacker just passing through.

One of the girls I've been working with, Carmen who is really sweet and a little ray of sunshine, has gone on holiday to China and it was her Mum's birthday on Thursday so we said we would go out with her. What was meant to be going for a meal turned into a party at Parit Falls with lots of vodka, Johnnie Walker, beer and brandy and lots of locals! Me, Bel and Fabio were the only Westerners there, the drivers for Hilltop went and got one of their trucks and we had some half decent dance tunes blasting out, partying in the Jungle!

At some point Bel and Fabio decided they wanted to go for a night time jungle trek and they took my phone for the light... When they came back and found me my phone was gone and the party pretty much over, after much drunken stumbling around for it we gave up and came home. Much of the night is a blur after drinking muchos dodgy local vodka, kind of wish there were more tales to tell to the public (those who get the gossip know the gossip!).

So the next day (yesterday) I was so stressed out about my phone, and also ridiculously hungover which isn't good when there are no bacon butties duvets or Lucozade in this country! Cana one of dude we were out with drove past the office at 6 and said my phone had been found in another fella's car, Jason, and he would bring it to me later. I nearly cried with joy! When my dear precious, life supporting BlackBerry made it back into my hands I was so happy my hangover disappeared for a good five minutes! Exciting times...

Dorm Rules - Don't be a Dick

I've been living in a dorm for three weeks now and man, some people piss me off!

First there is Robin, the Chinese Whisperer. He's Chinese, obvs, and speaks in his sleep some uncomprehensible jibberish. Everytime I try to record what he's saying he stops or my battery is dead which is rather annpying because I work with plenty of Chinese people who could translate it for me! He's gone back to Penang to see his family for a few days (he works at a travel agency in town) and I was rather exicted about a few nights of peaceful sleep, not so when I had an American lad talking what seemed to be German in his sleep the last two nights! These are the type of people who should get private rooms!!!

And some German girls (still getting pissed at young gap year and summer holiday German kids) brought their own mosquito nets and hung them from the ceiling! There are very few mossies here and no malaria or dengue, and just buy some bloody tiger balm if you get bitten! I had to go and get Winter, she of the dreads, to come and see this sight and we pissed ourselves laughing at the ridiculousness of it...

Other annoying dorm habits include - spreading your shit all over the floor so when it's dark others trip over it making the noise that you then tell them shush over

Packing at 7am because you're a lazy fucker who can't be bothered packing the night before. Some people wish to sleep in the morning, selfish bastards

Spraying half a can of deodorant when the dorm is full... Some people don't like aerosols, go the bathroom or wait until the dorm is empty

Talking, at anything more than a whisper when other people are sleeping. Have some respect, go to the lounge if you want to plan your evening piss up, some people need sleep!

Blanket robbing - completely unacceptable unless you are sure the bed will not be occupied that night, rob in the day time or better yet ask at reception, ditto for pillows

Flip flop robbing. So I've ranted about this before, but I'm pissed about it... I accidentally swapped my fake Havianas for some real ones in Kota Bharu, complete accident that I couldn't rectify because the dude left the next morning, but since I've been here my real one have once again been swapped for some dodgy, extremely worn fake ones. Oh and don't leave flip flops or any other type of footwear at the bottom of the stairs, this makes middle of the night dashes to the toilet at whole new experience.

Right, rant over, I promise that these rules will never be published in the dorm, no matter how pissed off I get!